Is adultery ever justified

The following article is from Psychology Today:

In my first post on adultery, I avoided discussing the ethics of cheating. Well, I tried to, at least; it's hard to discuss a topic like that without lapsing into the morality of it, so here goes. (For those of you that read my post on the ethics of procrastination, some of the discussion of moral philosophy will sound familiar.)

At the risk of spoiling the ending, let me reassure you that we'll find that adultery is wrong—most of the time. (Maybe that's not such a reassurance.) It's almost never justified just because you really really want to get together with that hottie in your office or at your club (sorry). But it might be justified in extraordinary circumstances, which to some people, unfortunately, might be rather ordinary.

For the full article click the link: Adultery ever justified

The power of secrets and the effects on family

There's no question that family secrets are destructive. But it matters mightily when and how you reveal them. Resist the temptation to handle them at transition times such as weddings, graduations, and new beginnings.

As a family therapist, I'm a professional secret-keeper. I'm often ~the very first person with whom someone risks telling a longheld secret. Several decades of guiding people struggling with secrets have taught me that they have an awesome if paradoxical power to unite people--and to divide them.

From government conspiracies to couples having affairs, secrets permeate every level of society. Secrets have existed throughout time, but the nature of secrets has recently changed in our society. Today's families face special dilemmas about secrecy, privacy, silence, and openness.

We live in a culture whose messages about secrecy are truly confounding. If cultural norms once made shameful secrets out of too many events in human life, we are now struggling with the reverse: the assumption that telling secrets--no matter how, when, or to whom--is morally superior to keeping them and that it is automatically healing. My own experience, however, has shown me that telling secrets in the wrong way or at the wrong time can be remarkably painful--and destructive.


For the Full Article click the link: Power of Secrets.

After you split up - Who gets the friends?

When a couple breaks up, there may be a division of property and money, and if there are children (or pets), there will be a custody arrangement as well. The final thing to be divvied up will be your mutual friends. This process can be unsettling for everyone involved.

Most of the time, true friends try to remain neutral, and make no mistake, being in this position is tough and it can be burdensome on the friendship. The good ones won't want to take sides, and they can find it hard to listen to the breaking-up friend vent. It's simply uncomfortable to hear that kind of negativity about somebody you like.

For the full article click the link:  Who gets the friends?

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." Flavia Weedn

Alongside with the increasing rate of divorce and separation in modern society, we are witnessing a greater tendency to search for ex-lovers. Is such a search able to rekindle past loves and make them continue longer? The answer seems to be positive.


For the full article click the link:

Searching for an Ex-Lover and Your Marriage